Tour the South Pacific

Things are settling nicely in the tiki office.  I moved the birds in.

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Shortly afterward, the cat moved herself in.

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Meanwhile, at a sidewalk sale I found a travel guide to the South Pacific that fills me with rage.

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There’s no date on this gorgeous item, but it was printed in Australia through a joint effort of the tourism boards of Australia, New Zealand, and Fiji.  These all appear to be excellent places to go.

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Also, it comes with a beautiful fold-out map!

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So why does this book fill me with rage?  Because of the section on airline travel.

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Look at these midcentury rat bastards, enjoying delicious meals in spacious accommodations!  These people have never had to take their shoes off to go through a magic scanner that turns them naked.

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Nobody’s reclining their seat back into this little girl’s plate!  Everyone’s knees are comfortable and unbruised!

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THEY HAVE BEDS!  HOW DO THEY EVEN HAVE BEDS AAAARGH

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And Don Draper here can shove his complimentary sherry in an inappropriate opening.

What the hell happened, airlines?  Why am I now afforded less dignity than a feedlot chicken when I get on a plane?  Where’s my sherry, dammit?

If I wasn’t surrounded by soothing bamboo and rattan as I write this, I’d be rampaging up the street.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Tour the South Pacific

  1. I am consistently sad that I am too young to remember an era when travel didn’t suck on donkey.

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